So This Is Living
by SilenceMaverick
Summary: Yaoi. Lemon. Miroku gets lost in the woods discovered and is discovered by Rin, the girl who follows Sesshomaru, and is rescued/held captive. What will he do? and what is this he is feeling towards the demon lord? suck at summaries. RxR! HIATUS
1. Introsaurusrex

**Silence:: Okay, hey guys, first Inuyasha Fic!! I don't own any of the characters except maybe the older portrayal of Rin. Okay so basically this short introduction is just Miroku getting lost which is necessary for the story, so stick with it please. RxR please, SHARING (REVIEWS) IS CARING!! Thanks for your time and in following chapters if you have any suggestions message me because sometimes my thought process gets a bit rocky and I'll need some aid. THANKS AGAIN!!**

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Miroku was, he had to admit, utterly and incontrovertibly lost. He had known when he and his companions had entered the forest that there was something very wrong with it. He had a dark feeling, like a thick poison dripping excruciatingly slowly onto his soul, a feeling which he often got when surrounded by dark magic. It had been a long time since they had defeated Naraku, seven years in fact, so it had been quite unusual for him to feel so drowned by the dark force but when he turned around for the eighth time to discover that his friends were nowhere to be seen or heard he was not as surprised as he thought he should be. The shadowy trees seemed to shift with ethereal silence and menace so the monk did the reasonable thing to do when you get lost, he sat down on the damp ground and waited; and waited. And waited for what he figured to be numerous hours before letting out an irritated sigh.

Miroku's stomach had begun to growl and he was at a loss. Kagome, who had decided to live in their world fulltime, carried most of the group's food on that wretched bicycle she always had. Finally, Miroku decided it was safe enough to try to find food seeing as how his friends weren't finding him, so he hoisted himself up and headed off in what seemed like a suitable direction; making a thin scratch on every tree he passed to his right to assure he did not start walking in circles. And by some malicious whim of a higher force that is exactly what he began to do.

Miroku threw his face towards the sky and let out a rough, piercing cry of exasperation, his stomach was an abyss of emptiness and the lack of sleep was taking a toll on his mind and body. He hadn't realized how long he'd been walking or how exactly tired he was until the first raindrop struck the tip of his nose and it felt like a weight had been thrown atop his shoulders and he dropped to his knees, eye slipping shut with his mind already hazy with unconsciousness. The last thing he saw were murky colored claws emerging from the thick trees aside a pair of shoeless human feet.

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**Silence:: Sorry the chapter is so short guys, Remember, it's just sort of the introduction. Please keep reading!! **


	2. Miroku's OrangeGreenCreme Clad Angel

**Silence:: Yum, the second chapter is up already!! RxR please and thank you! Also Rin is about 14 or 15 in this story and Miroku is about 25-26 so yeah. Sesshomaru doesn't need an age because he's amazing and Jaken is Jaken so no one really knows his age either. Anyway, read on Fanfiction buddies!! And don't flame, if you don't like Yaoi or fancy demon men who are way awesome then don't read!!**

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When Miroku awoke his mind was nebulous (sorry if you don't know what this means, it means unclear or blurry, I just like the way it sounds!!) and a bitter fear struck him as he failed to remember where he was and how he got there. The sky was bright and cloudless directly above him and the grass around his was split and torn as if something had been feeding on it. Then the nerve-racking realization hit him that there was no way he could know how he got here because he fell asleep in the middle of that damned forest.

Miroku sat straight up and immediately regretted it because his head was light headed from lack of sustenance and his body was sore from his hours of walking in vain, hoping to find food or his friend; whichever came first suited him, but now he was in the middle of a field and ,unbeknownst to him, not alone. Well that didn't last long because Miroku suddenly heard a heavy grinding sound behind him and turned to look straight into two pairs of intense, toxic- yellow eyes, the narrow slits narrowing further as the scrutinized the lecherous monk. Miroku suddenly stopped breathing as the large beast raised its two pointed head and looked directly down on the monk, blowing warm air into his pale face causing him to tense up, his mind threatening to black out but the monk willed himself to stay conscious, going helpless and vulnerable in front of this great beast was far worse than staring it down, at least he stood some chance awake. Suddenly the scaly creature turned its bi-necks to their right and stared expectantly over a small hill as a tall shape emerged, running exceptionally fast towards the man and beast.

Miroku took this opportunity to escape from biting range of the murky colored dragon and braced himself on a rock a good twenty feet from the creature who still had his eyes fixed on the approaching shape which became more detailed the closer it drew; black hair trailing in the wind, a small pony tail on the right side of the head, tanned skin, an orange and off white robe top with similar fabric flailing around the left leg with an identical piece flailing out behind the figure occasionally coming in contact with the being's ebony hair and the most visible feature, sort of like a bright beacon in the sun-drenched afternoon was the leafy-green band around the stomach and similarly colored arm warmers that started at the elbows and flared out at the hands that sliced through the air like the wings of air planes that Kagome talks about. About 50 feet away Miroku's mind finally processed, through its drunken state that the figure approaching was a bare-footed girl, a bare-footed human girl that looked about 15 or so. When this realization struck his first inclination was to call out to the girl, warn her of the impending danger of the olive green beast but then he remembered his last few thoughts before he passed out in the rain; _**murky colored claws emerging from the thick trees aside a pair of shoeless human feet. **_

The girl finally stopped and the Siamese dragon lumbered over to her with a welcoming grunt and nod of its twin heads. The girl cried out something to it which it responded to in a manner that caused Miroku to infer was its name, or names, _does a dragon with two heads have two names?_ Miroku wondered as the girl wrapped her arms around both necks in a warm embrace. When she let go one of the heads drooped low and touched her forehead with its snout, causing the girl the turn her head towards the spellbound monk. Her expression turned serious quite suddenly and she turned her whole body to face Miroku, striding assertively towards him, her shoulder squared and her body warped into an intimidating posture, even on her lithe frame. And again a slow understanding seeped through Miroku's famished mind, this thought being the girl's frightening resemblance to the small girl he had seen following Sesshomaru once or twice many years ago; the pony tail, the orange and crème robe ,which was a complete robe then, and the lighthearted, unguarded expression that he had seen when she was running. Now he examined her as she stood right in front of him, not in a perverted, lecherous fashion but more so a fashion in which he was comparing her to when he'd last seen her, he had to guess seven years ago, trying to discern the differences, changes, between the current follower of Sesshomaru and the faintly remembered one from years ago.

He started with her hair, still black, still with that ponytail of shorter hair on the right, bangs still flaring up to the left. Her hair now hung mid-back instead of to her waist like it used to but Miroku supposed that was because she had grown taller. Taller indeed, probably on a head smaller than Miroku himself he mused, and she had filled out well; a subtle but apparent womanly figure was budding under the new robe fashion the girl boasted.

The robe had the same coloring he remembered it had, maybe the girl fancied it but what was he to know? But unlike the too large full robe she used to wear the robe had been cut or fashioned in some way Miroku was ignorant of because he was neither a seamstress nor the possessor of said robe, that cause it to look like a normal sleeveless robe around her upper chest and below the large band of green material which spanned the girls flat stomach it was separated into a single flap of fabric down the front and another, unattached to the front, that flowed down the back. Of course the girl did not go commando under these skimpy, knee-length flaps but instead wore tight fitting shorts of the same crème color as the squares alternating the orange ones in the robes checkerboard pattern. From there on she was bare legged and shoeless so nothing much had changed there, the biggest change though, besides the girls physical transformation, were the arm warmers which now draped from her elbow, down, to her knuckles in a flared design made from the same green material as the stomach band.

The sudden irritated, or uncomfortable, shift of the girl caused Miroku's eyes to draw up from the fascinating arm ware to the girl's brown (I think they're brown but I don't know so just go with it!) eyes that were narrowed in empty distaste though did seem quite intimidating as she loomed over the crouching monk.

"You're awake, state you name and you're business prowler" the girl declared and Miroku's mind reeled, _how dare she call him a prowler? What, did she think he was a pervert? Don't answer that_ Miroku pleaded to his conscious before putting on his best friendly face before replying. "Uh, miss, I'm not a prowler," her eyes narrowed and Miroku sweat dropped, the corner of his mouth twitching, he distinctly remembered the girl being friendly not vicious. "I am Miroku, I am a monk travelling, and well who was travelling, with companions of mine. We fight demons that we come upon harming others, see, no threat here." _Except maybe that monstrous green beast_, Miroku added mentally as he noted the animal watching them intently. The girl brought her hand to her chin and her eyes darted to the ground as she rolled his response around in his head. "You travel with Inuyasha, yes?" the girl asked as she lifted her chocolate eyes to meet his dim amethyst ones with a brief nod. Miroku nodded back to her and she dropped her eyes again to think just as another shape began to emerge from the hill top, this one slow and exhausted by the looks of it, carrying a large pack on his back.

The bi-headed dragon seemed less interested in this being as it approached and Miroku paid no attention to it as he watched the girl intently, "are you still traveling with Sesshomaru?" he inquired and she looked back up at him, her eyes bright with admiration. "Lord Sesshomaru? Of course, I would not leave Sesshomaru-Sama like that," she looked Miroku right in the eye and added with a childish smile, "he is wonderful." And that was that, Miroku supposed, he knew that if he stuck around he would eventually be confronted by the Demon and though he wished he could just go back to Inuyasha and the rest he, in fact, had no idea where they were lat alone where he was so it seemed inevitable that he would have to wait it out and beg to the higher forces that he make it through this without being slaughtered by said demon lord.

Suddenly a strangled cry of exasperation and vex emanated from the direction behind the girl, whom he still didn't know the name of, and Miroku caught sight of another green creature, smaller than the first, with one head thank goodness, and carrying a large pack of fish.

"Rin," the creature commanded and the girl made a slight pause before running to the creature. "Yes Jaken-Nii?" the girl replied as she approached, she tower over the small, clothed being, known now to be Jaken_-nii _and yet she spoke with a young, respectful tone that gave Miroku the impression that he was another close companion of Sesshomaru's though Miroku didn't recall him. When Jaken caught sight of the conscious and mobile Monk he clucked his tongue and turned his reptilian face towards Rin who was busy setting up a fire. "Sesshomaru-Sama will not be pleased Rin, not pleased at all," he scolded and the girl turned to him with a naïve look of curiosity and confusion on her face. "But I questioned him and everything, I made sure he was ok," she pleaded but the smaller demon made a small noise and gesture with his hand, a haughty smile slipped onto his slimy looking features. "Yes dear Rin, but you brought him here, Lord Sesshomaru will not find that very loyal of you Rin."

And suddenly said girl was on her knees before the frog like creature, "But" and before she could say anything she was cut off by a low, powerful voice.

"Rin."

And everything froze; Miroku's eyes wide with awe and fear as a flare of silver reflected in the lilac orbs and flashed past him, straight to the groveling female. "Off your knees," he commanded in his familiar monotone voice and she complied, rising from her knees and standing perpendicular with the demon Lord. "Sesshomaru-sama, I couldn't leave him, there is something about him that seems nice. Besides he was going to die and," she stopped when Sesshomaru cast his cold glance towards the very monk the girl was rattling on about. Just as Miroku was about to speak, to plead his case, to beg to be let free, to kiss the demons toes just to get to be with his friends again, just as he was about to any of these things a sudden noise caused him to stop and blush: caused a certain dark haired girl to laugh and a certain frog like demon to narrow his eyes in dislike at the monk. Just as he opened his mouth, a split second before the words fell out, before his body moved into a consciously decided action his body decided to take its own course of action.

Just as he began to stand up a large rumbling echoed across the vast barren field and the monk dropped to his knees again, gripping his stomach. "Yes, Miss Rin did not mean any harm, she was simply trying to save from this beast that has seemed to manifest," he winced as his stomach convulsed in emptiness, "Seemed to manifest itself in my stomach, my fullest apologies Lord Sesshomaru," and quite abruptly a ringing laughter reverberated around the small company and a pair of sickly-yellow eyes belonging to a certain staff wielding demon narrowed in dislike at the half smiling monk clutching his stomach and mentally begging that he didn't just upset the very ferocious demon Lord.

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**Silence:: So whaddya think? Thank you ****Hikarikurai24587**** and Pumpkinpi for reviewing!! And I know that more people may review afterwards it is just these two were the first two to review since I uploaded the first chapter and before I uploaded this chapter so if you review this then your name will show up on the thanks in the next chapter. Anyway, thank you for reading!! RxR please!! **

**P.S. no problems yet with the story but for those who review if you have an idea or something, you can shout out, I may not use it but I appreciate the help!!**


	3. The Dinner and The Last Muddled Thought

**Silence:: Hey, Sorry this chapter took so long, I actually ran into some trouble with it (plus school which is being brutal and pitiless at the moment) and I would like to send a shout out of recognition and thanks to God Of Insanity for unknowingly corralling the scattered plot critters with his/her story **_**A Youkai's Tail**_**. Any who, continuing onto the story!!**

"Rin," The captivating voice spoke in all of its commanding and featureless glory to the little girl who immediately stopped laughing and stood obedient and silent like a young soldier awaiting commands. For what seemed like hours Sesshomaru observed the young girl who returned the gaze unthinkingly as the demon lord rolled around the situation in his silver haired cranium before dropping his head slightly, clearing his throat; his voicing cutting through the tense and uneasy atmosphere:

"I do not agree with your decision to bring this man with you but I expect you thought of the consequences before doing so, so he is now yours. His actions are your actions and his punishments are your punishments. Now feed him."

Lord Sesshomaru finished his abnormally long monotone command and studied Miroku briefly in a sidelong glance before walking gracefully fifty feet away and sitting down. Jaken scrambled to quickly pick up a large sack of scrolls and drag it to his Lord with painstaking effort. Miroku, who was still withdrawn, reviewing exactly what just happened, was awoken by a gossamer tap on his shoulder. He tilted his face up and went cross eyed trying to see what the brightly smiling Rin was holding just inches from the bridge of his nose. "Here, the fish won't be done for a long time so have a biscuit." Miroku politely thanked her and took the maroon colored tart in his hands, taking a hesitant bite. Instead of the a bitter, gritty retort he had expected, Miroku impulsively moaned in bliss at the soft texture and sweet taste that waltzed along his tongue, down his throat and into his greedy stomach which devoured the morsel, growling in disappointment. Miroku proceeded to shove the whole delicious snack into his mouth, chewing contentedly before swallowing it and being greeted with a vicious quiver in his stomach reminding him that one palm sized biscuit was not enough to ravish the great hunger that had amassed over the lengthy period of famine.

Embarrassed by his own greediness, Miroku slowly lifted his eyes which locked with two maroon orbs, well more like two, 1-inch thick maroon colored cakes, which he grabbed quickly before blushing and articulating a quick thank you. As the two cakes finished their saccharine dance to the bottom of a now calm sea of stomach acid Miroku wiped his mouth and Rin took a seat across from him. They eyed each other before Rin broke the silence with a simple, "the fire is ready and Jaken is going to take the scales off the fish so we can cook them." Miroku nodded before replying, "I am very excited, if the fish is half as good as the biscuits than I shall need to reevaluate my getting lost and thank those who put such actions into motion." This time Rin blushed for, unbeknownst to Miroku, Rin herself had made the biscuits during one of their rare stays in a village inn or rest house.

"Well I do not know the demon lord very well but I must say that his quick command was awfully long. He is usually quite isn't he?"

"Yes, usually, I must have deeply upset him by bringing you here, oh I feel so bad, but it was the right thing to do and I know he seems cold," the young girl cast a compassionate glance to the silver haired demon, "but he is very caring. He is my only family." Miroku looked at the girl who was smiling at him somberly. "So he rescued you?" Miroku's face twisted into a surprised smirk, "The way Inuyasha talks about him he was portrayed as being a cold hearted individual that hated all other than himself, especially humans." Miroku thought aloud and of course he was unaware that everything he was saying quietly was heard by said demon lord some fifty feet away, these days Miroku seems quite ignorant to most people and things. Lord Sesshomaru made no visible acknowledgement of hearing the conversation between the monk and the girl but his mind briefly contemplated the monk's words; but he threw them away to the corners of his mind for they bore no significance to him. Said monk suddenly twisted his mouth in a disagreeing shape, Rin looking at him curiously.

"He makes me sound like a pet."

And the ringing laughter rejoiced in everyone's ears as the young girl humored on Miroku's words before reaching over with a long , tanned, green clad arm and patting his head affectionately, "Good boy." This caused the monk, though he dismayed at the thought of being seen as a little pet, to chuckle and the dark weight that had been on his shoulders since he had first entered the forest finally rose and faded in the afternoon breeze as the two laughed contentedly, friendship blooming quickly as they sat among the torn grass, clouds passing rare shadows over their pleased faces.

______________________________ (Time skip, just a couple of hours) ______________________________

When their dinner of fish and sweet river berries was served the sky had begun to darken with obscure rose colored clouds as the sun flared a swift, lustrous, goodbye before slipping under the horizon vanishing from view. The moon, dazzling and swollen, cast a luminous radiance on the four as they enjoyed their meal as much as one can with an livid toad demon, a menacing demon lord that could, at anytime, eradicate you without clemency or lament, a nervous monk fearfully sweating bullets that perfumed the still air with the sour, brackish stench of fright that caused the dog-demon lord to occasionally raise his nose into a soft breeze of clean air, noiselessly inhaling as much of the crisp freshness as he possibly could inconspicuously and a young girl chattering away as if the perturbed mood did not reach her in her small bubble of idyllic ignorance.

The four slowed down their ravenous feasting until finally they placed their hands on their full bellies and the demon lord leaped up, trying to conceal the relief of getting away from that repulsive scent. His sudden movements caused another wave of dread to surge off Miroku and collide into Sesshomaru's smell receptors and he had to fight to keep the instinctual reaction of wrinkling his nose and twisting his face at the horrid smell. "Rin," was all he said but the girl understood her masters few words, she carried off the remains of their lunch, which they ate with their hands, off into the forest as Sesshomaru turned to Miroku who still had not moved for he didn't know what to do. "Thin Ice, Monk." And he strode a good one-hundred feet away on the crest of the hill before sitting cross legged. The surly Jaken glanced at his master before hobbling over to the bi-headed beast that was sprawled on the torn grass and grabbed a red clothe bag off the saddle that was heaped with what looked to be large metal cups on strings and a large red sash with fur on it, draped over the said heap. With the bag in hand, Jaken wandered off to do whatever it is a toad demon does with a staff and a red bag with unknown contents.

Miroku took this chance to stand and look around; they were in a clearing surrounded by trees as far as he could see, the only thing obscuring the timber rampart was the large hill that the Demon lord now resided so the lecherous monk didn't dare to approach it. The sky gave no real indication to where they were and there was no outstanding feature to depict a location so Miroku gave up, there wasn't much he could do even if he did know where they were so he figured he would make the most of it, so he outwardly nodded in agreement just as Rin returned from the dark woods and yawned.

"I suppose it is time for you to go to bed now, are you tired?"

"Yes, I am actually, full and tired and thankful that it was you that happened upon me in the woods and not some man hungry demon," and Miroku meant it. He had seen his fare share of remains of humans and demons alike that had been ripped apart by a savage demon that knows no justice.

"I suppose so; I don't understand why I happened upon you but I do now it was for some reason. Maybe you're supposed to do something! Help us? But what do we need help with?" she brought her hand to her chin in a thoughtful pose before shaking her head and wandering over to the bi-headed beast grabbing the tremendous red and fur sash.

"Maybe your just supposed to travel with us, like become a part of our family. That would be nice Mr. Miroku and even though he won't show it I think lord Sesshomaru will appreciate it woo. As well as Ah-Un of course!" she squealed as she affectionately patted the olive colored beast and draped the red sash across its mid section and lay down, nestling into the curved abdomen of the large dragon. As Miroku witnessed Rin lay the sash against the great creature, readying for sleep, his own mind began to drift and despite the fact that he had slept most of the day, with a full belly and a jumpy, anxious feeling of what is to come Miroku too settled down in to sleep; his final muddled thought being if indeed he was to travel with them, 'Ah-Un' was definitely going to take some getting used to, if only it was fuzzy like Kirara. Kirara . . . . . . .

**Silence:: wow that chapter took a very very very long time. My apologies. Okay so first thing to address, sorry the chapter is a bit rocky, times have been hard but I would again like to thank God of Insanity. The other thing that needs addressing is Kirara, I had some internal conflict on whether to use Kilala or Kirara so I went with Kirara because that is how the show I watched spelt it (I watched subs not dubs). If you want to say Kilala I am completely alright with that just imagine the R's in her name as L's and we're all happy.**

**I would like to thank Pumpkinpi, neenabluegirl, KAYBOP1 (both reviews), and Blueislife for reviewing!!**

**I really hate to ask this but I will be really busy till about June so I don't know when I can update but I would really like to get 5 more reviews before chapter four goes up so if you all could spread the word and review that would be lovely. **

**Thank you very much and again thanks for reading!!**

**p.s. if you have any questions or comments feel free to review or message me **


	4. Stupid, Stupid And In Love

**Silence: Oh My Goodness!! My most sincere apologies for the delay in updating, I was in Connecticut for a month, Band camp before that, and Exams before that but finally here it is!! This Chapter was probably the toughest to write because I needed to involve the rest of the gang but really, who cares 'bout them? Just kidding just kidding! **

**So any way, here it finally is and oh my goodness I am loving all of you for reviewing! Every time I go back to re-read the story to help out with the writing seeing how many reviews I have just makes me so happy! **

**We'll my wonderful readers', here is your much deserved fourth chapter****!**

**~~P.s.! School starts in a few weeks so I don't know when I'll be able to update but I would really appreciate atleast 5 more reviews before my next chapter! This is the longest fanfiction I've written yet and sometimes it is tough to stay motivated. Thanks!!~~**

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Many miles away a fuming, darkly clad female vented to a vexed silver haired half-demon. "How could he wander off like that? Does he know how dangerous this forest is? God, when we find him he will wish he had died, oh the . ."

"Sango, Shut up!" Inuyasha barked, grinding his teeth, his hand clenching and unclenching around Tetsaiyga. The lecherous monk had gone and gotten himself lost, causing the rest of the group to stop and begin searching for him. It had been just over two days and all their investigative ministrations had been in vain because there was still the empty space between himself and Sango where the monk usually resided; still a gaping silence where the reverberation of flesh on flesh, palm to face, would resonate when the monk's hands got too bold.

Once, instead of palm to face it was very hopping mad, clawed fist to cheek when the Monk's hand got unusually cheeky and groped a certain Dog demon's ass, fingers kneading warily, tender but unyielding and the shocked feeling that ripped through said half demon at that moment scared him, not only because of the unusual and bizarre action but the disconcertingly _**delicious **_tingling it caused to shudder through Inuyasha's body.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Inuyasha finally couldn't stand it, from the position of the fragment of moon levitating in the sky above him, it was almost three in the morning and Kagome lay in a profound slumber just a few spans from the fire with a mumbling, and occasionally snoring, Shippo curled in her arms like a small child, almost as quiescent as the human that he was nuzzled against. Curled around the sleeping pair was a large *Cat-like fox demon, her black ringed tail draped over Kagome's lower body, her nose nestled in Shippo's hair, Kagome tucked contentedly under her cheek, snuggled comfortably against her lower neck and chest. Inuyasha stood and began to walk off, the seething aura that surrounded him ensured Sango from saying anything more or even attempting to follow him but she did study him as he skulked off.

Since Miroku's disappearance the half-demon of the group had been acting strangely and the only ones who seemed to notice was Sango and Kirara, of course. He seemed to squirm restlessly every time they took a break from searching. He even stayed out later than the rest did to search, saying that he was even more useful at night because he could still search for Miroku when others couldn't, even though Inuyasha sometimes quaked with exhaustion from searching all day. Kirara seemed to notice the change in Inuyasha's scent that accompanied this change in behavior, the scent of concern and anger and confusion that wafted through her senses as opposed to the Half-demon's usually confident and brutal odor. When they came upon a hot spring the scent of sorrow swept over him so quickly it felt as if Inuyasha and herself were drowning in it and it caused Kirara to shy away from the half-human demon. The emotions he felt were sometimes so heady that Kirara had to whine, begging Sango to allow her to escape from the infectious depression.

Sango seemed to notice this strange behavior as well and seemed to understand the size shifting Kit Fox's thoughts. Even though she couldn't smell the expertly disguised emotions that raged inside Inuyasha, she seemed to read them clearly but of course to bring that up with Inuyasha would insure a furious dispute and without the monk there to nudge that soft spot within Inuyasha to ease him, who knows what might happen. So Sango and Kirara kept their thoughts to themselves, conversing only when they were well veiled in the shadowy remoteness of the forest, far from Inuyasha. As understanding a mind as Sango had, she would still never quite figure out what Kirara had quickly discovered unless someone slapped her in the face and shouted it at her.

There was another peculiar emotion within Inuyasha that underlay all others and was so faint that Kirara could barely smell it but now, as he stalked off, she eyed him with a single red iris and she could see it , **minute wisps' of pink almost invisible in that seething, blue-black aura.

Inuyasha stalked off into the forest, oblivious to the two group member's judgments, his nose tuning to every smell in the damned forest, not even the faintest hint of the monk's sharp, smoky scent of incense and the ginger which he kept in his robes to keep them from smelling too bad from the days of not washing them while traveling. Inuyasha would never admit it but the reason he was so anxious, agitated and angry was because he missed the monk. He missed the sympathetic, caring look the monk got whenever Inuyasha was hurt, leaning over him, whisper soothing words and cooing. He missed the jokes they shared on occasion, the glares and the hits. He missed the relaxed shadows on the monks face when he settled into the hot spring and let all the turmoil and pain of the battling and travelling leave his body; his body. Inuyasha scowled as he kept up his meaningless search. He knew he wasn't going to find the monk today, but his body, his mind kept repeating: That smooth, pale body that is littered, no, painted with scars and memories of the past.

With a growl, the half demon shook his head again and began to run, his nose to the air, searching, his mind almost begging for something, anything. His whole body surged with a gnawing hope, just something to satisfy this building sorrow, something to push back that little voice that has started to grow from its original whisper to a great hushed voice;

"He's dead".

Inuyasha ran this way for what countless hours, the scrap of moon beginning to slide into its 5-in-the-morning position. A constricted sob escaped the hanyou's throat and Inuyasha collapsed on the ground. He felt so silly crying like this but that stupid, stupid monk just . . . "Just what, you don't love him, do you Inuyasha?" That small sadistic small voice rattled teasingly about in his head and the tears stopped. _Of course not, he's just a perverse monk who can't get enough of grabbing girl's asses, how could anyone love someone like that?!_ Inuyasha felt silly for barking back at the imaginary voice but it was asking him something he'd been wondering himself. Did he really love the monk? There was something about him that always made him feel fiercely protective, more than he did of Sango, or Shippo, or even Kagome. And whenever the monk touched him, whether it was punching him of comforting him, Inuyasha relished in the warm contact.

Inuyasha was not one to sit around pondering, whether it was creating a plan of action or analyzing a situation but at the moment he felt a peculiar need to prolong sitting there, he was not anywhere closer to finding Miroku than he had been anyway, and figure out what it was exactly that made his body and mind battle fiercely over everything the ***pervacious monk did, no matter how miniscule. "Well," Inuyasha started at the voice, "how do you feel about him compared to the rest, even Kikyo?" Inuyasha settled his left elbow on his left knee and allowed his chin to nestle in the palm as he tore grass with his right hand_. I feel, Protective._ The voice seemed to become exasperated when it realized he wasn't going to say anything more. "Do you feel extra protective compared to how you feel about the rest of the group? Do you feel less protective? Do you want him by your side? Not by you side? Do you wish he was female so you could easily have your way with him or are you glad he's ma . . ."

_What?! Slow Down! What the hell are you saying? Yes, I feel more protective of him. Yes I want him by my side for whatever ridiculous reason that that is but what the hell are you trying to say when you ask if I wish . . . I wish . . . no, I don't wish he were female, I like . . . I like him . . . the way he is._

By now Inuyasha was blushing fiercely and felt completely foolish for heatedly stuttering all this ata voice that doesn't exist, _at least I didn't say it out loud. Who are you anyways?_

"Me? Oh I am your conscious, I am just trying to help you see what it is you truly desire. Inuyasha, you love him, not like you loved Kagome or even Kikyo because to you they were more like younger sisters that you felt fiercely protective of, am I wrong? But with Miroku," the voice sighed which caused Inuyasha fidget," you wish to take him, in more ways than one," this time it laughed, causing Inuyasha shiver and break into a nervous, cold sweat, "You wish to make him moan you name, to wake up in the morning with him gathered in your arms. You wish to be able to watch him openly as he slides off his robes to step into the hot spring. You want to talk to him, really talk to him but because you're so goddamn stubborn you don't. Now he is off lost, or dead," Inuyasha growled at this and the voice faltered," and your just realizing all this now, after I had to ****dog you about it! You're an idiot Inuyasha, you really are."

Because of the sudden emptiness Inuyasha felt rolling around in his head he knew the voice vanished, slipping back to wherever it emerged from and he wanted to slap himself. The voice was right, but not completely. He had realized some of this, he was just too goddamn stubborn to admit it, even to himself. Now Miroku is gone, Inuyasha still refused to even acknowledge the possibility of death because he felt that if Miroku was dead he would feel it, somehow. This thing he felt, _Love_, he enlightened himself because it was fruitless to keep denying it, ripped through his body with the sudden dissapearance of the emotional bars of denial and raged throughout his body with a tingling heat and caused tears to collect and begin to descend from Inuyasha's dark eyelashes leaving diminutive, shimmering paths as they skittered down his moon lit cheeks. _I'm so stupid. So stupid, and so in love_.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Silence: Was it good? I hope so!**

**I don't know if Miroku ever really grabbed Inuyasha's butt in the series, it's been forever since I've seen it (0_0). But he did in this story! Explanation Time!!:**

*** "Cat-Like Fox demon" – I believe this is what she is . . . if I'm wrong, enlighten me! **

**** "Minute wisps" – the word is Minute (My-Noot) which means very little, or faint, not Minute (Mih-nut).**

***** "Pervacious" – A word I made up with the word Pervy- and the ending- Vacious to add an effect. It works though, No?**

****** "Dog you about it . . ." – Pun Intended!**

**Again, sorry it took so long! I wanna send a thanks out to:**

**KAYBOP1, ruby red 1989, Hikarikurai24587, pumpkinpi, Arisa Akita, Teh-KuppyKake-Novelist**

**Thanks for reviewing guys!! Till I update again!**

**Love, Silence!**


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